I can say I am a winner if I won something TODAY, no matter how small, no one can take that away from me.
The Importance of Emotional Regulation
There have been many dark times in my life where I regret my emotional outbursts and
inability to see certain situations with clarity. I am certain anyone reading this has gone through
similar experiences and lays up in bed at night figuring out the right thing to do or what they
should have done or said that would have been more constructive to everyone involved in their
particular situation. The thing is, no matter what we do or the habits we build, there will always
be things we wish we did differently or said differently. We. Are. Human. We make mistakes but
we also have to make choices all day, every day. These choices are sometimes going to hurt
others around us, ourselves and throw our entire day in a negative direction. There are many
things we can do to try and avoid these situations happening on a regular basis. I believe the
most important is emotional regulation.
I have many personal examples of when emotional regulation lacked in my life and
when I felt regret and shame from those outbursts and lack of control of my own emotions.
There was a tournament a couple of weeks ago where I tossed a club after a bad shot out of a
bunker and the club took a weird bounce, ending up on the green. I felt a great amount of
shame and this act bothered me for many nights to follow. It did not really matter the result
after that day as I can typically move on from the result within a day or two, it was that
moment in front of many people where I portrayed myself as someone who cannot control
their emotions, which is not who I am as a person. This was very disappointing to me. A more
personal example occurred a couple years ago, I was much shorter tempered, opinionated and
not very aware of the implications of my actions or words. I lost multiple friends that year
because I would continually offer my opinion when it was not wanted or burst out with a
passive-aggressive comment that was unnecessary and not very constructive at all.
The words I said were hurtful at times without me even realizing and because I did not
have emotional regulation or awareness of when it was an appropriate time to offer my opinion
on a situation, I pushed people I loved away and said things I did not truly mean. I was acting
like someone who was not really Cam Kellett. I was basing all of my interactions and reactions
on my emotions versus processing, taking some time to come up with a response that is of
some substance and then proceeding with the conversation. I learned many times that biting my
tongue was the right choice and felt that people wanted to be around me more often because I
was more concerned about what they had to say instead of constantly needing to butt in for
attention or because I just felt like I had the right to do so.
I learned after losing some close friends due to acting in a destructive manner that it
was neither attractive nor cool to speak or act recklessly and it was only harming me as a
person. I am still far away from where I want to be, however, I have developed a lot of
emotional regulation and am able to stay calm in the heat of a tough moment on the golf
course or a tough conversation. I am not as clouded by my emotions and I have done this
simply by trying to be aware of how I am feeling and suppressing the reaction side that wants
to go on a rampage. When I suppress it, I find it gives me a moment of rage followed by clarity
of what needs to be said or done to find a solution to the situation in any aspect of life, rather
than snapping and making a fool of myself for no particular reason. It is a life long journey of
awareness but certainly a tough lesson I learned in a hard way.
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I can say I am a winner if I won something TODAY, no matter how small, no one can take that away from me.
think that it is very important to discuss how I have combatted anxiety, how I struggled/struggle with it and give a few pointers that I have learned through the years from professionals and my own research.
There have been many dark times in my life where I regret my emotional outbursts and inability to see certain situations with clarity.